It's easy to be a leader. Just be honest, kind, and your true self, and ta-dah! - you are leading by example.
Showing posts with label honest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honest. Show all posts
04 November 2012
28 August 2012
Today's Tarot - Seven of Cups
www.ModernOracleTarot.com
06 February 2012
Today's Tarot - Ace of Cups
A reader favorite from last year:
Ace of cups: “inner light”
Respect others by being your true self. It is easier to honor others, respect their path when you are comfortable and confident in your own true path. Authenticity is honesty.
Sometimes it is too easy to forget that “respect” is NOT the same as “agree with”. It is not “conform to”. You can respect a skilled enemy. You can respect a person and their right to choose, even if you oppose the things that they have chosen.
Wishing you a day of dignity and self-confidence, respect given AND received.
12 January 2011
Daily meditation 12 Jan 2011 king of cups
King of Cups: being honest with yourself and with everyone else helps you know truth when you see it and hear it.
08 January 2010
What are they thinking?
Sometimes all you can do is plant a seed and hope for the best.
Today I'm writing about what it's like to DO tarot readings instead of a particular tarot card. Yeah, it's another ethical psychic kind of rant.
I understand the attraction - I really do. It is easy to see the pull, the seductive side of "predictions" and "100% accurate love readings" and the other commercial, superficial psychic work that is its own parody anymore.
Love and romance breaks hearts. When people come to a psychic with relationship problems, loneliness, breakups or what have you...they are in real emotional pain. The natural impulse is to want to help. But at the same time, there is a real ego-centric motivation. It is an ego-boost to think you can fix pain like that.
Psychics can't.
Not and still work honestly. If we think we can 'fix' pain like that we are deluding ourselves. Even if CAN...does that mean that we SHOULD??
What if the upset emotions are neede to learn something important...something about themselves. What if that experience is the only way they can discover inner strengths? If we alleviate the pain, then don't we leave them exposed to greater pain later until the needed lesson is learned?
More to the point, what about simple respect. Doing readings for others is a privilege. They open their emotions and choices to us. Words can hurt, words can heal. Psychic readings can impact others in real ways...it is unimaginable to me to treat that with anything less than absolute respect.
Easy enough so far, right? The real wrench in the works comes when someone wants to know about a love interest in a reading instead of focusing on themselves.
It happens all the time...no matter what I say before the reading begins about not making predictions or not 'reading minds' it never fails. Invariably they want to know "does he/she love me?" "Are they seeing someone else"? "will they come back to me"?
It is hard to put the truth in terms that won't hurt a vulnerable person even more.
The truth is I don't know and even if I did I wouldn't necessarily discuss it"
I try to put it in terms of empathy and privacy.
Working with someone's energy is a privilege and I would never presume to just take that privilege without permission. Who am I to look at that other person's energy without permission. So I usually put it in terms of "would you want someone asking a psychic to read your mind behind your back and without your permission?" Which is what this all boils down to, in my opinion. Agree or not, that's how I work. I see it as a matter of ethics and respect.
On some occasions, if I get a sense on a deep etheric level that it is ok with that other person, and get a soul-level permission, then yes of course, I will give some sense of what they are permitting. It really doesn't seem to happen that way very often.
Even it a bald-faced answer were possible, it still might not be what they want to hear...they are still going to be upset. So why dance around the situation. If it is an upset time, why not just approach it from a position of honesty, and respect, rather than give an answer that may or may not be true, that may or may not be received well?
It's harder that way. It would be a buzz to give specific answers that are welcomed by the hearer. It is fun to be the hero and make it all better.
But stop and think...why are we in this business? To inflate our egos and be a hero at another person's expense? Are we in this to make a quick buck? Even if it is for that motive, shouldn't we offer a genuine, quality service instead of a self-serving one? Why not make your profit selling a legit rollex instead of shilling knock-offs on a street corner. Doing a sincere, best-effort reading costs no more to do than a drama-ridden ego-stroking one. It isn't a failure if we can't do the perfect reading for everyone. Different people and different situations need different psychics and different styles. Mis-match isn't failure. Would the cardiologist be a failure if he sent someone with a toothache to a dentist instead of filling it themselves? No, of course not. Same for intuitives. We can't always help every single person in every single situation. Honesty with the client trumps our need to feel competent. That is a difficult thing, when psychic are so suspected and disregarded by so many in our culture. It is hard to have that level of self-confidence. It's easy to give in to knowing-all and telling-all rather than a path of honesty, ethics and self-knowing.
If you go to get a reading, I challenge you to release your need to know about that other person, and look at what you and you alone need to learn from the reading.
If you are a psychic doing readings, I challenge you to be honest with yourself and with your clients about your skills, limits, beliefs and attitudes.
May we all travel well together on the hard but high road.
Baihu
www.modern-oracle-tarot.com
Today I'm writing about what it's like to DO tarot readings instead of a particular tarot card. Yeah, it's another ethical psychic kind of rant.
I understand the attraction - I really do. It is easy to see the pull, the seductive side of "predictions" and "100% accurate love readings" and the other commercial, superficial psychic work that is its own parody anymore.
Love and romance breaks hearts. When people come to a psychic with relationship problems, loneliness, breakups or what have you...they are in real emotional pain. The natural impulse is to want to help. But at the same time, there is a real ego-centric motivation. It is an ego-boost to think you can fix pain like that.
Psychics can't.
Not and still work honestly. If we think we can 'fix' pain like that we are deluding ourselves. Even if CAN...does that mean that we SHOULD??
What if the upset emotions are neede to learn something important...something about themselves. What if that experience is the only way they can discover inner strengths? If we alleviate the pain, then don't we leave them exposed to greater pain later until the needed lesson is learned?
More to the point, what about simple respect. Doing readings for others is a privilege. They open their emotions and choices to us. Words can hurt, words can heal. Psychic readings can impact others in real ways...it is unimaginable to me to treat that with anything less than absolute respect.
Easy enough so far, right? The real wrench in the works comes when someone wants to know about a love interest in a reading instead of focusing on themselves.
It happens all the time...no matter what I say before the reading begins about not making predictions or not 'reading minds' it never fails. Invariably they want to know "does he/she love me?" "Are they seeing someone else"? "will they come back to me"?
It is hard to put the truth in terms that won't hurt a vulnerable person even more.
The truth is I don't know and even if I did I wouldn't necessarily discuss it"
I try to put it in terms of empathy and privacy.
Working with someone's energy is a privilege and I would never presume to just take that privilege without permission. Who am I to look at that other person's energy without permission. So I usually put it in terms of "would you want someone asking a psychic to read your mind behind your back and without your permission?" Which is what this all boils down to, in my opinion. Agree or not, that's how I work. I see it as a matter of ethics and respect.
On some occasions, if I get a sense on a deep etheric level that it is ok with that other person, and get a soul-level permission, then yes of course, I will give some sense of what they are permitting. It really doesn't seem to happen that way very often.
Even it a bald-faced answer were possible, it still might not be what they want to hear...they are still going to be upset. So why dance around the situation. If it is an upset time, why not just approach it from a position of honesty, and respect, rather than give an answer that may or may not be true, that may or may not be received well?
It's harder that way. It would be a buzz to give specific answers that are welcomed by the hearer. It is fun to be the hero and make it all better.
But stop and think...why are we in this business? To inflate our egos and be a hero at another person's expense? Are we in this to make a quick buck? Even if it is for that motive, shouldn't we offer a genuine, quality service instead of a self-serving one? Why not make your profit selling a legit rollex instead of shilling knock-offs on a street corner. Doing a sincere, best-effort reading costs no more to do than a drama-ridden ego-stroking one. It isn't a failure if we can't do the perfect reading for everyone. Different people and different situations need different psychics and different styles. Mis-match isn't failure. Would the cardiologist be a failure if he sent someone with a toothache to a dentist instead of filling it themselves? No, of course not. Same for intuitives. We can't always help every single person in every single situation. Honesty with the client trumps our need to feel competent. That is a difficult thing, when psychic are so suspected and disregarded by so many in our culture. It is hard to have that level of self-confidence. It's easy to give in to knowing-all and telling-all rather than a path of honesty, ethics and self-knowing.
If you go to get a reading, I challenge you to release your need to know about that other person, and look at what you and you alone need to learn from the reading.
If you are a psychic doing readings, I challenge you to be honest with yourself and with your clients about your skills, limits, beliefs and attitudes.
May we all travel well together on the hard but high road.
Baihu
www.modern-oracle-tarot.com
23 July 2009
Psychic readings, honesty and expectations
A short, "channeled" reading about not clinging to narrow expectations of what a psychic or tarot reading should be. Being too focused on specifics, predictions or narrow topics might make you miss something pretty cool...
it is interesting the difference that people place on concept, idea, and word. A mental image of, say, a tree, is not that different from the word “tree”, which are both symbolic ways of communicating about those big green beautiful plants. Then add to that all that a tree can mean or symbolize individually or culturally. We all think of trees in the context of nature, beauty, the outdoors, coolness in summer...so many things. An individual might associate 'tree' with a childhood swing, and all the connotations of childhood. Another might remember a walk in woods with a loved one. The possibilities are endless, because the connected web of things and language is endless. If we focus on the sterile generic word "tree" alone, so much could be missed conceptually and emotionally.
Aren’t mental images just as valid as words? Aren't emotions and associations just as valid as "specifics"? In intuitive work, they have to be.
Yes, often psychic readings are accused of being vague, but that is the way to give an idea the best chance of being understood. If a reading is narrow and specific, something important but unexpected might be missed.
24 April 2009
How do you know if a psychic is ethical?
Recently a client asked: “There are a lot of crooks out there. How can you tell if a psychic is for real or not”
This question could have multiple meanings and levels. But in this case they were talking about ethics. They wanted to know how to tell if a psychic wants to help people or just make a quick buck.
Good question. One everybody should ask before they pick up a phone or get online or drive to a “psychic”
We are all in this business for one reason or another. And yes, we do ask either a set price or suggested donation for our work (after all, we need to eat too, but we’ll explore this part more in another post). Just the same, here are some simple signs that a “psychic” is someone who is sincere about what they are doing and may be in this for more reasons than just income alone.
Some things to look for -
HONESTY: An ethical psychic will tell you up front if they can or can not answer a particular type of question. I don’t work with medical questions. An ethical psychic will tell you what intuitive work can and can not do. No one person has all the answers for everything. No one is “100% accurate”. The future is not fixed - it depends totally on you, your decisions, your actions, what you choose not to do - any dozens of things that make predicting the future impossible.
So phrases like “100% accurate” or “guaranteed results” always make me run, not walk, in the opposite direction. If it sounds to good to be true…it isn’t. To guarantee results is to rob you of your freedom and free will. An ethical psychic will give you a realistic idea of what to expect from a reading.
CLARITY: Does the psychic make the information understandable to you? Is the reading helpful? Can you USE it to make better decisions or make better sense out of your concerns? Psychic readings aren’t any good to anybody if they make no sense.
WILLINGNESS TO ANSWER QUESTIONS: Sometimes it is hard to put the nonverbal images and impressions we receive into words. That is where the real skill of a psychic lies. We all have intuition and ‘psychic’ ability. The real gift is in being able to communicate the information in an understandable, helpful way. If you are in a reading, and you don’t understand what is being said, ask. If you are working with an e-mail reading…send a follow up question. (within reason). Someone who really wants to help will be willing to make the reading understandable to you. Don’t take what a psychic says at face value just because it sounds fancy, esoteric or educated. Ask them to clarify. If they won’t or become angry or offended, you may want to re-think if this is the best psychic match for you.
OPENNESS ABOUT PRICES AND BUSINESS POLICIES: The reality is, whether the psychic approaches the readings as counseling, spiritual guidance, entertainment or what have you - it is still a business. Especially if that is there sole livelihood. Prices should be up-front, as are other standard business concerns like forms of payment, refund policies, hours, etc. A good teacher knows when to set limits and lets you know the rules.
PROFESSIONALISM AND COURTESY: In my opinion, Psychic and Tarot work is all about helping people. More often than not, if someone seeks out a psychic reading it is because they have some problem, or concern. They are upset and vulnerable in many cases. An ethical psychic will not take advantage of a situation like that. A reading should never be frightening. If you feel intimidated, or belittled in any way, that should be a warning sign to you.
RESPECT FOR YOUR DECISIONS AND BELIEFS: You should be the one to decide when, if ever, you go back for a reading. Getting too many readings in too short of a time can get confusing and ultimately do more harm than good. Intuitive readings shouldn’t ask that you believe certain things or not. Skepticism will not scare away or block “spirits” and lack of ‘believing” won’t keep you from getting a good reading. You should feel as if you are being treated with dignity and respect…not excluded from ‘the spirit world’ if you don’t believe certain things.
UNETHICAL OR MIS-MATCHED?:
If you don’t feel comfortale with a psychic doesn’t mean the psychic is unethical, or in-genuine, or only in it for the money: Just like doctors and ministers, we all have our own specialties, our own styles, and our own belief systems.
For example, some people love to go to dramatic, flamboyant psychics - it makes the reading more interesting and fun. Some people need the extra drama to ‘believe’ and let themselves be helped by the reading experience. Other people like a more practical style. My goal is to be the “no drama”, calm, reassuring type of psychic.
Different kinds of problems need different kinds of psychics. Some psychics work very well with medical concerns ( like the Carolyn Myss and Edgar Cayce, for example). The same is true with bereavement, or issues of life after death. Some are mediums and connect with crossed loved ones very easily, while it happens less often for others pychics.
DOES THE PSYCHIC HAVE SOME STRUCTURED BELIEF SYSTEM / ETHICAL BELIEFS: This is a tricky one. Just because a psychic doesn’t share YOUR particular beliefs doesn’t mean they are unethical or criminal. The key is if they have some sort of structured ethical system guiding their psychic practice. Personally, I am a Universal Life Ordained Preceptor (minister for individuals instead of a congregation), which makes it very easy to communicate my ethics to my clients. Some psychics are spiritualists. Some are Catholic. Some draw from New Age thought and metaphysics. It doesn’t matter what school of thought they follow, as long as everyone has some cohesive idea of what is right and what is wrong.
Here is another example: I believe it is impossible to predict the future - so someone who only wants a prediction and doesn’t want to hear anything about advice or spiritual guidance does not do well with my style of readings. They might do better with other, more predictive readers. By the same token, I would not do well with a reading from some one (like some local intuitives) who work strongly with christian symbolism. Yet I have had wonderful readings from other local psychics with a more metaphysical / eastern philosophy background. Even if they are totally honest and well-meaning, not every psychic is a good match for everyone. As long as you both have some clear idea of right and wrong, you will find the right psychic match for you.
Some things to watch out for:
Here are some things about psychic readings that make me uncomfortable, and make me wonder about the intentions of the psychic. But of course, you and the psychic themselves are the ultimate judge of that …
- claims of 100% accuracy
- promises of a specific outcome: like “finding romance” or what have you
- anger or agitation at questions
- doesn’t let you take notes or make recordings of the reading for later reference
- unclear pricing … free times, holding you online in a per-minute reading etc
- demanding regular or “faithful” return visits or frequent readings
- demanding that you believe certain things or the reading won’t “work”
IN THE END, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS FEEL BETTER AFTER A READING THAN YOU DID BEFORE THE READING STARTED.
YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL FRIGHTENED OR INTIMIDATED BY A READING.
Most of all, the best way to know if a particular psychic is a good match for you or not is to use your own intuition and street-smarts. If you feel like something is wrong, it is.
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