Q&A: Where can we have a happy marriage?

Q: We like where we live now, but my husband has better job offers in two different places. We've decided we want to make the move for the promotion. They are both pretty equal job offers, so it has come down to location for us, but we can't decide between xxxxxx, where the housing costs are better than here (we could get out from under our mortgage) but the weather is hot and humid, and we both hate that. The other offer is in zzzzzz, but the housing there costs a little bit more, but the weather is just gorgeous  We really can't decide between the two, can the cards offer any guidance? Where can we go that would give us a happy marriage in the years to come?

A: Hello ******.

Let's look at this with a simple yes/no reading...but before we start I have to say this...

It doesn't matter one tiny bit where you live. It looks to me like the heart of your question is wanting to keep a happy marriage...that happens in your heart, not in where you live.

 You can live anywhere in the universe, and be happy with a happy marriage. If the relationship is good, it will be good in a shack in the middle of a swamp. If the relationship is in trouble, then it would be troubled in a free mansion in paradise. 

Also, before pulling the yes/no cards...think about the criteria you already mentioned...cost and weather. Which of those two things is more important AND which of those two things will affect your happiness the most? Is hot an humid going to wear on you over the years or will money concerns be a bigger strain? 

PLUS don't forget, nothing is permanent...if you get somewhere, and don't like it, you can move again. Instead of buying right away, why not rent a while to see if you like the area? What other things besides mortgage and weather would make you happy where you live? What do you want to avoid? Maybe it would help this decision to expand your list of pros and cons. If you consider lots of things, it might be easier to see which location has the more plus - things and which has more minus - things.

..and also lift the burden of permanence. Stay mobile, and wait to tie in to a mortgage once you are sure it is the right place for you. That way you can make your decision about where you want to live based on something other than the weather... like lifestyle, recreation, taxes, schools (if that applies), career opportunities etc etc

So leaving marriage and happiness totally out of it (that part is up to you two, no matter where you live)...

"Should ****** and spouse move to zzzzzzz"... (one ace, two minor arcana cards)leaning toward no...this is the patter of you COULD...but SHOULD you? Things to consider here is balance, and clear-thinking. Would you lifestyle here pull things out of balance? Would you have to work such long hours to afford the house that other parts of your life would suffer? Are you seeing this area as it really is? Or do you have an idealized real estate booklet and tourist attraction sort of impression of this place?

"Should ******* and spouse move to xxxxxxx"?... (two aces and a minor arcana card) leaning yes...the drawback might be that it will take some daring and mental toughness to make it work. It may be rocky at the start, but you can overcome the challenges. It may feel like you made the wrong choice to begin, but be brave, and you will be rewarded in surprising ways, personal growth, awakening, happiness ways...in time, if you have courage. There is great potential for spiritual lessons and soul-satisfaction here, independent of finances.

I hope that helps the decision making process along for you. Good Luck!

Baihu

If you like your reading, please tell your friends, and visit http://www.ModernOracleTarot.com for polite professional affordable tarot readings by e-mail...e-mail is available world wide, no appointment needed.

Question for a Question

Q:  Will T***** ever come back to me? I know G***** is interested in me - will we get together? Will I ever get married?


A.  Hi C******


I know you've read my blog and website, so you know what I think about predictions. Did you read those "How to find your soulmate" blog posts I sent you? I'm guessing, no. Here are the links again, in case you lost them.


http://modernoracletarot.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-to-find-your-soulmate.html/


http://modernoracletarot.blogspot.com/2010/04/how-to-find-your-soulmate-part-2.html


I'll do a three card yes/no reading for you on two conditions...


1. You write back and tell me how YOU would feel if a stranger from the internet suddenly started reading your mind, reading how you feel, and predicting what you are going to do to your EX


and


2. You promise that you understand that predicting the future like this is impossible. YOU create the future through your choices...and these guys have their own choices to make too. Promise me that you realize any reading I do for a question like this is about as valid as one of those magic 8 ball toys.


I don't mean to be snarky and rude, but thinking about other people and taking responsibility for your part in this really is important thing to learn...especially in relationship questions. We've worked together enough, I know you can handle the bigger ideas.

Valentine's Day 2012 - How to Find Your Soulmate

I first wrote about "How to find your soulmate" in 2009. Soulmates, and finding that special someone is always a popular topic. Here is the latest edit - Happy Valentine's Day!

I get the question a lot. I ASKED the question a lot when I was younger and first started going to get psychic readings. I had no idea at the time that I would wind up doing readings and be asked that self-same eternal question - How Do I Find My Soulmate? After seeing the soulmate question from both sides, here are a few of the ideas that I've found to be most helpful.

My soulmate is a he, so I refere to "soulmate" in the masculine here. Gender doesn't matter. The same principles apply, either way.

• Don"t worry about time...love is one of those cosmic truths beyond time. It doesn't need, want or respond to our time schedules or expectations. "it happens in its own time" and "you can't hurry love" are both very true. So don't worry about WHEN. After you take that pressure off of yourself, and off of your soulmate out there, then that creates more energetic space for the relationship to step into.
• Why not let your soulmate find you? "Finding" hints at action, searching, seeking, struggling. "Finding" a soulmate is often counter-productive. If it is meant to be, it will happen naturally, and in the flow of things. Fighting the current, not 'going with the flow' only makes things harder. Think more in terms of a light in the darkness. If you are happy, relaxed, loving, compassionate, and being your genuine self, then you are more likely to attract your perfect mate to you. Not to sound like an e-harmony commercial, but they got that one right...you want to find someone who loves you for the real you - and the best way to have that happen is just to live fully, and honestly, and just BE your genuine self...not be someone on the prowl, hunting for a mate, like a wolf hunting for a rabbit. BE yourself, let your light shine, and if it is meant to be, your soulmate will be drawn to you. You might have heard that called the "law of similars"...like attracts like. If you are loving, you attract love. If you send out signals you are a hunter, you find preditors. If you send out signals of wanting to be with someone, then you find someone who mutually wants that too.
• Do things that you love to do. Going to bars or whatever with the sole purpose of "finding a soulmate" seldom works. Do something you love, and you might meet someone who loves that same thing and viola! you find someone where you have something in common to help you get things rolling. For me that was martial arts. I LOVE doing tai chi. So now I'm married to a certified national martial arts tournament judge. Same is true for any hobby, sport or activity you really enjoy. That vibe of enjoyment will help the attraction process.
• Love life. Be happy. Compassion, confidence and joie de vie are sexy and attractive.

If you have any questions, please e-mail them to faq@modern-oracle-tarot.com to be answered here in the blog. If you like what you read here, and would like a private reading with the author, please visit www.modern-oracle-tarot.com for details.

Romance, Relationships and the Ace of Cups

At Valentine's Day, those of us who aren't thinking of chocolate are probably thinking of romance one way or another.

  

When it comes to Valentines day and the tarot deck, most people think of "The Lovers" card from the major arcana. When you get to the layers underneath, that card is really about lust, a moment's passion and any strong desire in the abstract. It isn't about finding a real, long-lasting relationship, or about celebrating /preserving such a relationship if we have one.

There are a number of cards that relate to established relationships...cups, wands, even swords, reminding us of wisdom, and loyalty and steadfastness and compassion...the many things that impels us toward wanting a relationship beyond the initial passions of the Lover's card.

All of which begs the question: What card does lead the way to love and romance?

To my way of thinking, it is the Ace of Cups.

That isn't as much of a break with tradition as you may think. Cups cards have long been associated with water, intuition...intuition is a very helpful thing when it comes to affairs of the heart, one place where science and reason doesn't seem to apply as much. Some believe that, historically, the suite of cups in the tarot deck became the hearts suite of our modern gaming card deck because of that connection with the heart. I can't believe that it is just coincidence that "heart" is associated with generic love (I heart NY t-shirts), romance (see everything Valentine's related) AND intuition (a.k.a. "follow your heart").

Ace of Cups means "let your inner light shine". It has to do with your own inner voice, your inner knowing, your true self.

So what does that have to do with finding true love?

The best way to attract your best mate is to be your true self. Being your true self is the path to true love...not hunting, posturing, lusting or any of the other difficult lessons associated with the "Lover's" card. (Although those things can play a part in the early stages of the relationship, it may not help much in finding it in the first place).

There are old and respected spiritual principles at play here. We've all heard of it:

First there is "like attracts like" and "birds of a feather flock together". If you LIVE to show who you are, then it is easier for a truly compatible person to find you.

Second there is what some call the "Rule of Threes"...what you give to the universe returns to you threefold. What goes around, comes around...do unto others and all that. So if you wallow in loneliness and focus on what you don't have, what will or won't MAY be...then you can make yourself pretty miserable, pretty fast. Miserable attracts miserable.

If you want love an happiness in your live...then love and be happy. Only YOU can do that for yourself.  ONLY you can make you happy, if you let yourself. If you are loving and happy, you attract loving and happy. The ace of cups trumps the lovers and you win. Easier said than done, it's true, but simple just the same.

I wouldn't blog if I didn't really think it, and I believe it because I've lived it.

The best example I can give you is my own. In my 20s I was working hard being the "good" person that I was always taught was a "good" person...working hard at a social-service kind of job, going the extra mile at church, even serving as a council member and liturgical deacon at one point. I handbell choir, cooked, danced, cleaned and did all the things I was supposed to do to be what I was supposed to be...but what I wound up being was cheated on, alone , bone-crushingly lonely, and miserable.

Be it luck, destiny, or divine intervention, I began to see another way and CHOSE to walk another path.  I the religion that I found to be empty and un-helpful, started on a spiritual path that made sense and helped me be happy. I got a new job that still served, but was more secular / scientific about it, and started studying Chinese martial arts, taoist philosophy, read about Buddhism, and started to do the things that I loved, being who I really was, and focused on building a good life for myself. 

Then I met my soulmate, the light and love of my life, the one who matters most...my husband Jon...in Kung Fu class. Who would've thought. Then came our daughter, and the time to blog, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So this Valentine's week, my best advice to everyone...in a romantic relationship or not....is simply this: Love Life, and it will love you back. Someone else just might love you back too.

www.modern-oracle-tarot.com

Romance Reading: The Lovers and The Magician

Q:  I met a man who seemed to be all anyone could want...a little older, financially stable, professional, interested in me. But he could be pushy, too, and he pushed me to go on a vacation together, his treat. Turns out he is a horrible gambler. The whole trip was a disaster...shocking. I keep attracting men like this, and after this experience I wonder if I will ever have a good relationship. I had a career reading with you last year, and liked the way you look at things. Can you give any insight to the romance side of things?

A:  

I think you are right...this experience was shocking, but it got your attention. It helped you see a pattern, and to realize you want something different. As traumatizing as it was in the short term...in the big picture this may actually be a valuable experience.

There are two tarot cards that are exquisitely applicable to your situation: The Lovers and The Magician.

They are both major arcana cards...which speaks to the power and importance of the things your are thinking about.

The Lovers symbolizes desire, and The Magician represents transformation and manifestation.

Your experience with this man, and the way it felt inevitable, shows it is an important and powerful lesson: it shows you that what is deep down matters more than the initial outward appearance...and that the deep down important stuff is what matters to you. Now you know. This will give you a wonderful contrast...the shadow to show you what you want to bring to light.

You know, now, what you DON'T want to repeat...the next step is to define in your mind, very clearly, what you DO want in a relationship...what you do want in your relationships an in your life. The feeling I got reading the first part of your story is that your connection with this man grew out of expectations...your hope for a relationship and what other people define as a good prospect...stable, professional etc etc. That doesn't, as we see here, necessarily bring the intangible, subtle good things, like respect, caring, compassion, empathy....all those things that are REALLY important.

When I was younger, I saw a psychic, also wondering if I would ever be with anyone. She gave me an exercise...I may have mentioned this last time...that proved to be pure gold. Even if you've done this before...try again, start the exercise over, using your new insights and perspectives gained from the trip to vegas...

Make a list of all the things you want in a partner. What kind of relationship do you want? Marriage? Companionship? List every detail, literally, on paper. LIst physical things, interests, personality traits...anything, everything. Don't put negatives...don't say "not a gambler" put "enjoys ___________" That part is very important...the energy of the "not" might actually draw the undesirable trait to you rather than block it. Always list ONLY the things you WANT in a positive way.

Then release the list. Put it away, or, if you are inclined to such things, burn it in a respectful ritual of some sort. Whenever you feel the impulse, send a thought to the universe. Pray it...however it feels most powerful to you....not the whole list, just the feeling of desire for "the best of the list" or "husband for the highest and best"...something like that. Send the cry from your heart to the heart of outer space...then let go and trust the universe to guide you to the right path.

There are no time limits. There may be more things to learn along the way...but if you ask for the path to the best, you will find that journey, no matter how long it takes to get to the destination.

www.ModernOracleTarot.com