Tarobytes - The Star

Find your connection to the infinite universe. When you do, fear, hopelessness and helplessness begin to melt away, leaving trust, hope, and empowerment in its place.

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Q&A: Jealousy

Q: I have a pattern of always being jealous of my boyfriends. Every time they are away from me, I worry they will cheat on me, so I call off the relationship after a few weeks. Now I am seeing a good guy. He has issues with old relationships too, so we've decided to go slow. It has only been a few weeks, but I've already tried to break if it off once, but we patched things up pretty quickly. Will I always be jealous? Is this the relationship for me? Should I break it off before my jealousy ruins things again?

A: This calls for a one-card meditation, and your card is the Chariot from the major arcana. Major arcana cards resonate with big life-lesson issues like this. The Chariot specifically about awareness. You have made strides in self-awareness. Now lets turn that awareness to the relationship and the things around you to help you move forward.

There is an old saying that the first step in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence. By gaining the insight you have into your issues, triggers, and sensitivities, you've already won half the battle.

Another old adage that applies here is "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" 

You are right, it is tied up with anger and resentment. Jealousy is also a matter fear and of trust...the lack of trust, really. Why is it you don't trust men? Have these past relationships really and truly given you cause to be jealous? Was there really a reason to bail out? If so, why are you choosing the kind of guy that isn't trustworthy? Are you being defensive or paranoid because of past hurts, and want to hurt the relationship before the relationship hurts you? Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater by destroying something potentially good just because of what you've done before or what has been done to you...either one.

Also, take a good look at the relationship you are in right now. Forget the jealousy, forget the past, forget the future...right here, right now, the way things ARE...do you care about this person? Do you want to spend more time with him? Is this a person you trust? Have you been honest with him? Has he been honest with you? If you trust him and face your fears, then there is no place for jealousy to take root.

If you care about him, and want this to work, then the ball is in your court. It is up to you to decide if you want to be a jealous person for no tangible reason or not. You have to decide if any 'reasons' you find are your old habits coloring the way you see things. Only you can decide if you are willing to do let go of the past, your old ways of doing things, and accept this man for who he is right here, right now. You have to be the one to decide if you are willing to start here, care for this person as-is, uncolored by past experiences or not.

It takes courage to drive a chariot. It takes awareness and realistic decision making. Charioteers were the jet test pilots of their day. It takes the same kind of courage to be honest with yourself, be honest about the way things are, and make decisions about what you have and how to move forward. Don't use your past as an excuse...a fast moving chariot can not focus on where they have been or they drive up the tree that is in front of them. A fast moving chariot can't imagine bumps and curves in the road that aren't really there...or they will tip over.  Chariots don't turn on a dime...so it takes communication with the chariots beside you, or accidents happen. Relationships and chariots both require realistic awareness, thorough honesty, and clear communication. 

Best Wishes to both of you!

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Today's Tarot - Knight of Wands

Confidence is related to trust. Self-confidence comes from trusting your own ability to know truth, make decisions and learn from mistakes.


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Today's Tarot - King of Coins

King of Coins symbolizes trust. Trust can not exist without honesty.








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Today's Tarot - King of Coins

Trusting others requires insight, understanding and wisdom. Insight, understanding and wisdom requires that you first trust yourself.

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Rule of threes

Act and speak from a place of honesty and compassion, then you can trust that when things come back to you threefold, it will be ok in the end.

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THE EMPEROR

The Emperor: Mastery and ease.

Easy is ok, especially when preparation, reason, trust and intuition make it that way

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King of Coins - trust, respect and psychic ability

Intuition and so-called “psychic ability” is a part of human existence, something we all share. Some are more naturally talented at understanding, clarifying, and communicating that oft-silent, symbolic and dream-like world of spirit and right-hemisphere. These are the ones we call “gifted”.

Yet it is something we all posses in some measure or another. I may not be talented at music, but I can hack out a horrible tune if I have to. Anyone can learn to play an instrument. Only the gifted move us with their music.  The same is true of any human activity. I can learn to change the oil in my car, but that doesn’t make me a talented mechanic. We all need those collective gifts. Just because I like to listen to music doesn’t mean I particularly want to be a musician. Just because I can learn car mechanics doesn’t mean I want to fix my own car. And so it is with intuitive work. Just because you CAN do it, doesn’t mean you want to - so you go see a psychic. And believe me, we who do this a lot are always grateful for that.

Intuition is something we all can do. Sometimes it is nice to have the touch of talent, and a fresh perspective. Even those of us who do this professionally get readings every now and then. It isn’t easy to put emotions and expectations away 100% of the time. So it helps to get other points of view. It is kind of like trying to see the back of your head without a second mirror. Sometimes you need that little extra help. 

Which brings us to the idea of Trust.

Trust is a strong element of intuition. If you are to learn to work with your own intuition, then you must first trust and respect your own feelings.

Intuition is simply a matter of first learning to listen to intuition (spirit, guides, angels, deceased loved ones, the right half of your own brain…however you choose to understand this). Once you are able to hear that whisper, see those images, the next step is to trust yourself. Trust that hearing, feeling, seeing and understanding. If you do not trust the ’source’ of the intuitive information, then you can not use or work with it. If you do not trust yourself and your understanding of that information, then the information is equally useless. If you feel the source of information is you…then both are one and the same.

That is just the esoteric level. On the real-world, physical level, the same principle applies. If you do not trust a reader, or a reading ‘process’ then you simply should not proceed. There may be a valid reason you do not trust something or someone. It might be a scam, or it may simply not be the best path for you. Either way, for intuition to be helpful, an element of trust must be there. If you don’t trust someone to read for you, then you must trust yourself and your own perceptions. If neither of those are present, and you don’t “believe” in psychics or intuition…the answer is simple. Leave it alone and move on to something you do trust. There is never a need for anger, antagonism or taking advantage in a situation like this.

If you trust your own ability…read for yourself. If you don’t care to read for yourself, or don’t yet trust your own ability, find someone to read for you. If you trust them, then deal with them fairly - they have provided a real help to you. You would pay a magician to pull a rabbit out of a hat at a child’s birthday party. You make contributions to ministers and churches who help you through emotional upsets. Intuitive work and guidance is no less. If you trust it enough to seek it, then you should treat the person and reading as fairly as any other part of life. If you don’t trust psychic or intuitive work…then you must respect those feelings and find other avenues to your goals.

Trust is a large measure of respect. If you don’t trust others, you don’t respect them. Distrust for no reason is an injustice to everyone. Treating others with respect is the best way to win trust and respect for yourself.

It is all simple, homespun wisdom we all know…and trust.

May we all trust our feelings. May we all trust our knowing of truth. In the end, may that lead us to trust and respect each other.